Woman’s Dictionary
“IT’S A GIRL THING”
Translated: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”
“CAN I HELP YOU DO _____?”
Translated: “Can I add two extra hours to your job by having you explain in detail every thing you wish for me to do then not do it? ”
“UH HUH, ” “SURE, HONEY, ” OR “YES, DEAR”
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.
“DO WHAT YOU WANT “
Translated: “You’re screwed. Have fun while you can. ”
“I HAVE IMPORTANT THINGS ON MY MIND.”
Translated: Red or green? Red or green? Red or green, damn it! Red or green?
“TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD.”
Translated: n/a
“THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR.”
Translated: “Are you still talking?”
“YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.”
Translated: “I remember eveyr word to ‘Ridin’ Dirty’, the address of the first boy I ever kissed, and the brand, color, and price of every shirt I’ve ever owned, but I forgot that I promised _____.”
“I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU.”
Translated: “I want roses.”
“I HAVE ACTUALLY SEVERED A LIMB AND WILL BLEED TO DEATH. “
Translated: “Oh, don’t fuss- I just cut myself, it’s no big deal.”
“I CAN’T FIND IT.”
Translated: “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.”
“WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?”
Translated: “I know exactly what I did, but I’m still counting on you not noticing ”
“I HEARD YOU.”
Translated: “I don’t care enough to listen ”
“YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE.”
Translated: “I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.”
“YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.”
Translated: “Wash the dishes ”
“I’M LOST.”
Translated: “How do you turn the car around again?”
Thanks to K for the inspiration.
this is sooo cool! hahah absolutely so true!