Misery loves company

“Why do we hurt the ones we love? Why do we let ourselves distance ourselves from the ones who want to be close, shut down and block the love from coming in in some attempt to ‘protect’ ourselves from pain—pain we have felt in our lives from people we love when we allowed ourselves to fully and fearlessly love?

“So really we are trying to protect ourselves from pain we have already had, trying to protect ourselves from feeling that same pain again but by doing so we are stopping progression. We are letting our pain beat us and control our every move. So we are not protecting ourselves from pain, we are holing the pain close and feeding it something it can use to grow and prevent anything else from getting in.

“So at that point all we have is pain. We put out what is inside, so we hurt others. Trying to infect others with our deteriorating disease, we cause pain to somehow fulfill the need to seek vengeance for our pain. So we hold our pain in, spit our pain out to infect whatever love that is trying to get in, and inflict others with this to get justice.

“So when will anyone feel the good in the world? Good exists in all of us but is smothered by others’ pain, then over powered and forgotten by our own.”

-Lizzy (Edited for clarity. Dyslexic Disgraphia tends to render the writings of a thirteen year old rather unintelligible. Most retarded superhero, indeed.)

“We are like the dead.”

“When the sun is goin’ down
and there is no place to hide
Even in the brightest light
you might lean toward the darker side”
-Bruce McCabe

Someone asked me, recently, “Are people born good and turned evil or are they born evil and kept away from it until unfortunate circumstances? Or are they born blank!?”

The following is my response, which I think happens to also be a wonderful comment on the current season and the epic chain of events that it has brought on me and several of the people around me. And so I give to you more of my blind religion/heresy (depending on which side of the proverbial fence you like to burry your face in the sand on. . .forgive me. That was too harsh. :) ).

I’m a proponent of a sort of bastardized version of Tabula rasa (Blank Slate Theory) which states that “individual human beings are born with no innate or built-in mental content, in a word, ‘blank’, and that their entire resource of knowledge is built up gradually from their experiences and sensory perceptions of the outside world.”

I’m not hardcore about it, though, because I do think that there are certain tendencies and traits that are inherent in human beings as a matter of nature. When the doctor slaps the baby’s butt, the baby knows to cry. It doesn’t have to learn that. Nor does it have to learn that tits equal food.

For the most part, though, our behavior and thought patterns and processes are learned—nurture. But there is obviously some nature. Part of that nature, is our sin nature. That, we possess from birth.

That is not to say that a child is born evil and with some desire to do only evil. But they are born with a nature that is wholly self-serving and self-seeking, with no regard to righteousness (that is, what is right; not just legally and morally, but logically as well. Essentially the opposite of sin), and with little, if any, tendency for compassion, humility, or any other element of love. That is the very definition of sin.

And so we are born, with the exception of those things necessary for survival, cognitively blank, emotionally blank, and spiritually blank. Evil itself is not present in us as nothing is prosent in us, yet, still, our tendency is toward what one might (I do) consider evil.

As we grow and as our thought and behavior becomes more complex, the nature which drives those thoughts and behaviors becomes less obvious. And, indeed, the illusion of selflessness is often given. But I like to compare that the The Doctor from Star Trek Voyager. Although he was nothing more than a bunch of lines of code and a holographic projector, he appeared no less human than anyone else. Oftentimes, it was not until someone tried to scan him that they realized that he did not even really exist. Yet, although every action was predetermined, there was an illusion of choice and, although he had no true emotions to speak of, there was an illusion of compassion. So it is for us.

Make sense? Questions? Comments? Bullshit?

The Rainmaker

Rain don’t fall from blue skies
And tears don’t fall from blue eyes.

You stole all the blue
And gave grey back to you
But mine are more black than blue.
And from this darkened hue,
Fall drops of love
To soak the soi(/u)l and give birth to new.

Drown the old
Birth the new.

23 to Life

The jazz in me won’t let me leave
“You know something better’s coming,”
It says.
“And if you leave, you’ll miss it.”
So I stay and compound my indulgence
In the hopes that the instrumentalists
Will learn to feel and become artists,
Will learn to give and make music.

So, I’m back from camp.

And boy do I have stories.

I wonder who had the deeper experience, Moses or the bush.

Art Lessons

You keep asking “How?”
As if there’s some sort of form or pattern
To self-expression
The truth is that,
Even in spite of your continued defiance of reality
And your inability to live in a world not governed by comfort

You have forgotten how to feel.

Writer’s Block

The words on the page
Are ill equipped to express
The sentiments like worms
Swimming through my noodle
Digesting my consciousness
Expelling de-composite

A wise woman once spoke of love.

“Maybe I’m just a bad friend,” she said. ” Maybe the only way a person can be a good friend is to give themselves up completely and lose themselves.”

Such wisdom has since left her. Foolishness has overtaken her and Self reigns supreme over her consciousness—what little is left.

Those words, however, ring no less true. “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” Truly, the epitome of love is self-sacrifice, to give up the self, to lose the self. It is to simply say, “Your desires, your needs, your life, your very being, and everything about you are more important than mine.”

Yes, only when we submit to true love can we understand what it is to truly live. Only then can we experience relationships in the beauty and infinite potential for which we were created. When we submit to love, we submit to the divine purpose of all humanity. What could go wrong?

The Definition of “is” Is

We speak of “in love” abstractly

As an independent entity

The omnipotent feeling

But in reality, such emotional instability is futility

Shake the Etch-A-Sketch to undo your noodle

“In love” is a state of being

Dive into the ocean to breathe more clearly than you ever did on land

Simultaneously inhale and exhale

Exchange life for life

Understand:

“A fish swims in the sea while the sea is, in a certain sense, contained within the fish.”

Oh, who am I to think

I can move through love and love not move through me?

Shake the Etch-A-Sketch to undo your noodle

“In love” is a state of being

In love is a state of being.

Love is being.

Be in love.

Be love.

Be selflessness.

Be humility

Be peace.

Be justice.

Be honor

Be mercy.

Be patience.

Be generosity.

Be trustworthiness.

Be compassion.

Be (self)respect

Be forgiveness

Be self-control

Be empathy

Be honesty

Be positivism

Be foundational

Unshakable

Unmistakabl-y a child of the Kingdom

Shake the Etch-A-Sketch to undo your noodle

“In love” is the one true state of human being

Word Is Bond

“A head nods as if to clear the last image from an Etch-A-Sketch.”

As if to replace it with the image of YAH

“Recite and rewrite dictionary definitions of nothingness with metaphysical significance.”

Consider the significance of the metaphysical

Make use of consciousness beyond subconscious accidents

(un)Conscious impotence

Make use of intent

Take two cents from everyone you meet and retire rich with more to leave for our kids than time and money

Constantly on the rise, yet constantly waning

While faith, hope, and love remain unchanging

Grace and peace flow from (th)a steady stream

While sex, drugs, and CEOs rock out somewhere in between

Life and death molehill peaks

A fly’s lifespan—two whole weeks

Are we any less mortal?

(too wholly weak)

Then let us rest in the eternal

If time is money, let us grow tax free like an IRA

Sleep in the sea, not confined in a grave

Flow with deep oceanic currents

Forget the surface and the waves and the sharks and the babes and the birds of prey

And all else which distracts from:

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, trustworthiness, humility and self-control

Life’s an Etch-A-Sketch

Yours is one noodle that can be undid